Author: Sonora Reyes
Publisher: Balzer + Bray
A truly stunning book by Sonora Reyes, I had huge expectations coming into this book and it actually surpassed them. Although the writing was a little clunky at certain points and the writer got carried away in tangents that ended up going nowhere, those things are to be expected when it comes to a debut. To be completely honest, I enjoyed the tangents and I could’ve read another hundred pages of Yamilet and Cesar hanging out together, their sibling relationship was my favorite aspect of the book. I can’t wait to see how Sonora will develop their craft and I’m anxious to pick up The Luis Ortega Survival Club.
This book touched on so many topics that resonated with me and are sure to resonate with other Latinex folk and POCs, especially those who were raised Christian. I’m a sucker for Strangers to Friends to Lovers and I adore that Bo’s and Yamilet’s relationship wasn’t an instant love story, we actually got to see them bond and get closer as time went by. I also appreciated that Sonora made sure to depict that Bo also had problems at home even though on the outside her life seemed perfect. It gave her depth and a story of her own, Bo wasn’t relegated to just being Yamilet’s love interest, she was her own person.
As someone who was also raised catholic and has a ton of religious trauma, reading about Yamilet’s relationship with her religion was both comforting and painful. It’s always nice to know that other people have gone through some of your struggles; it makes you feel less alone but also devastates you that someone else had to experience that same pain. Yami’s (and Cesar’s) experience during confession brought back all my memories from when I was 10 years old and forced to go to Sunday School so I could hear about all the ways I could end up in hell. I had to ‘confess my sins’ as a child and as I grew older and realized I wasn’t straight, doing everything I could to not go to confession anymore so that I wouldn’t have to lie to a priest. It’s eerie how similar catholic schools are even in different countries, although Yamilet’s story is set in the US, I had the same experience when I attended one here in Brazil: being forced to stand and sing the national anthem every Wednesday, having to debate whether or not gay people deserved rights or if slavery had really “been that bad.”
This novel reflected a lot of my own painful experiences but it also highlighted how privileged I’ve been and how easy it is to overlook those privileges. Although I did have to experience a lot of homophobia and xenophobia as a teenager (and to this day), I was also shielded from a lot of other dangers and judgments due to being white and upper middle class. It broke my heart to see Yamilet struggle so much, especially knowing that she represents so many queer people of color that are put through those same experiences (and worse) every single day.
One quote that strikes me particularly hard was when she talked about how much judgment you get from your own community if you’re in the closet. As Yamilet said, it’s not only emotionally devastating to lose the people you love when you come out but it can also be extremely dangerous to do so when you don’t know for certain what the reaction will be. Yami is spot on when she says that for a lot of us, staying in the closet isn’t about a lack of bravery, it’s about self-preservation.
All in all, I cannot recommend this book enough. Sonora has made me feel seen and I wish I’d had a book like this as a teenager, and I’m so happy that teens now are able to pick it up and see themselves in it.
For Trigger Warnings click here.
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